{"id":8342,"date":"2017-02-27T20:35:34","date_gmt":"2017-02-27T20:35:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/?p=8342"},"modified":"2025-04-30T05:59:46","modified_gmt":"2025-04-30T05:59:46","slug":"coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/blog\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Coping with Family Conflict When Caring for an Aging Loved One"},"content":{"rendered":"

As parents age, they sometimes begin to rely more on adult children for assistance and support. While this change in relationship is positive in many ways, it opens up opportunities for stress and conflict. This is especially true when more than one adult child is in the picture. Meeting an aging parent\u2019s care needs can bring to the surface sibling rivalries that have long been dormant. When not properly handled, this has the potential to tear the family apart.<\/p>\n

It can be difficult for adult children to find common ground when caring for a parent. This is especially true when variations in beliefs, lifestyles and caregiving styles are taken into consideration. Watching a parent\u2019s health decline also brings about feelings of sadness, frustration and helplessness. These feelings can make everyone act less reasonable and more hostile.<\/p>\n

There are steps families can take to keep these emotions and beliefs from turning everyone into enemies and making the situation that much more complicated. Here are a few strategies to increase cooperation and help everyone to learn to get along.<\/p>\n

Ask Your Parents<\/h2>\n

Siblings often have different beliefs regarding how to best manage their parents care needs. One might think assisted living is the right choice, while the other might want to hire a professional caregiver<\/a> and help their parents to age in place. When possible, one of the best ways to handle this conflict is to ask the senior what he or she wants. Have parents participate in conversations regarding their current and future care needs or at least weigh in to the best of their abilities. Make this an honest conversation, and discuss any barriers that stand in the way of meeting parents\u2019 wishes and goals. Having a conversation helps everyone to get on the same page, find a middle ground or agree to disagree with a little more respect.<\/p>\n

Divide up Responsibilities<\/h2>\n

When it comes to caring for an aging parent, one child often takes on the majority of the work. While this arrangement works fine in some families, it has the potential\u00a0to cause burnout, resentment and arguments. This is why it is important for the primary family caregiver to ask for what they need. If they never ask, siblings might not fully understand how they can most effectively help. They also might think that their help is not wanted, and that can create resentments too. Divide up responsibilities so that no one always has to take on the lion\u2019s share of the work. If only one adult child is local, perhaps others can help by scheduling doctor\u2019s appointments, managing finances or chipping in to pay for respite care through an accredited agency like Salus Homecare San Fernando Valley<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Keep Everyone Informed<\/h2>\n

A scenario almost opposite of the previous example might\u00a0occur too. Sometimes, one adult child tries to control everything and leaves everyone else in the dark. This person might even limit access that siblings have to their parents. In this case, it is important to remember that everyone in the family cares. It hurts to feel left out. Avoid this by making attempts to share information equally. Children who are currently feeling left out might\u00a0try to maintain a relationship with their parents despite any conflict. Letters, phone calls and emails are sometimes easier than in person visits, and they still show the person cares.<\/p>\n

End of Life Issues<\/h2>\n

When a parent nears the end of their life, sibling conflicts are often at their worst. While one child\u00a0might want to arrange hospice care, another might think the best approach is to extend life, even if it is only by hours or days, with continued medical interventions and hospital care. These types of conflicts are difficult to avoid in the moment, but they can often be prevented\u00a0when parents leave medical directives.<\/p>\n

Medical directives or a living will spell out the senior\u2019s exact wishes at the end of their life. Things like feeding tubes, do not resuscitate orders and instructions regarding other medical care are typically addressed. In conjunction with a living will, a medical power of attorney also names one person to make healthcare decisions on the senior\u2019s behalf if the senior is unable to do so. Speaking with an attorney is the best way to put these measures into place.<\/p>\n

Sibling rivalries are common as parents age, but they are not a given. Understanding why siblings fight and taking a proactive approach to resolving problems before they occur is the best way to keep the family together. This gives everyone the opportunity to play a part in working toward the common goal of keeping mom or dad happy, comfortable and safe in the later years of life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As parents age, they sometimes begin to rely more on adult children for assistance and support. While this change in relationship is positive in many ways, it opens up opportunities for stress and conflict. This is especially true when more than one adult child is in the picture. Meeting an aging parent\u2019s care needs can Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":8351,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[63,64],"class_list":["post-8342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-home-care","tag-family-conflict","tag-resolving-family-problems"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCoping with Family Conflict When Caring for an Aging Loved One<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Managing sibling conflicts in caregiving involves clear communication, shared responsibilities, and involving the parent in decisions. 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Proactively addressing end-of-life issues with medical directives can prevent disputes.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/blog\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"San Fernando Valley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-02-27T20:35:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-04-30T05:59:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/app\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2017\/02\/couple-having-talking-in-home-interior.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"751\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"639\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Debbie Robson\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Debbie Robson\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/blog\\\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/blog\\\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Debbie Robson\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/bde675331df5e39e7074e90680fb82f4\"},\"headline\":\"Coping with Family Conflict When Caring for an Aging Loved One\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-02-27T20:35:34+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-04-30T05:59:46+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/blog\\\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":799,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/blog\\\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/app\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/7\\\/2017\\\/02\\\/couple-having-talking-in-home-interior.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"family conflict\",\"resolving family problems\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Home Care\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/blog\\\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/blog\\\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/blog\\\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\\\/\",\"name\":\"Coping with Family Conflict When Caring for an Aging Loved One\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/blog\\\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/san-fernando-valley\\\/blog\\\/coping-family-conflict-caring-aging-loved-one\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.salushomecare.com\\\/app\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/7\\\/2017\\\/02\\\/couple-having-talking-in-home-interior.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-02-27T20:35:34+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-04-30T05:59:46+00:00\",\"description\":\"Managing sibling conflicts in caregiving involves clear communication, shared responsibilities, and involving the parent in decisions. 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Debbie is a registered nurse who has spent her career in home based care including patient care, leadership, hospice consulting and executive roles. Since 2013, she has served on the Board of Directors for the California Hospice & Palliative Care Organization (CHAPCA). Currently, Debbie serves as the co-chair for public policy and regulations with CHAPCA, advocating for policies that benefit hospice care patients and hospice care agencies. Under her direction and leadership, Debbie co-founded Salus Hospice in 2015 and leads the organization through continued Medicare licensure and Joint Commission Accreditation, actively working to maintain their high standards for patient care and excellence. In speaking about the value of hospice care and the hospice journey, Debbie states, \"Hospice is not about giving up hope, rather it\u2019s about redefining hope and living the best life possible for as long as you are able. At Salus Hospice we believe that life's final journey is deeply enriched by quality moments with loved ones and hospice professionals alongside.\" Debbie lives in Newport Beach with her husband and enjoys spending time with their family, dog Bailey, church friends and community. Debbie was inducted into the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR) in 2019 and is enjoying the new friendships and service opportunities this has provided her with.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/debbie-robson-b144a0a6\/"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8342","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/27"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8342"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8342\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9315,"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8342\/revisions\/9315"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.salushomecare.com\/san-fernando-valley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}